Welcome to our Ruru Learning Space Blog.
We are a class of motivated and excited bunch of Year 4,5 and 6 students! We are excited to share some of our learning with you.
Please leave us some comments about our learning experiences and work.
Saturday, June 15, 2019
Jaden's Climbing Story
This is Jaden's Climbing story. Tell him what you think of the way he has told a character, action and some feelings.
This is Shadrach from Hornby Primary School I am in a year six class. I scrolled to ruru's blog post and I saw this one first. So I decided to comment on it because it reflect my eye with the picture.
I really like the picture of the mountain that you put in your writing and adding some interesting words. And I saw all those punctuation that you add.
I really like your telling sentence but in my school we are learning to put a telling sentence into descriptive. Because our can add lots of details on your writing. And also make sure to add your introduction about what you are learning in school and what you have been doing.
hi Jayden I love the way you add all the information maybe next time you could go into deeper description this reminds me when I described the same image.
Hi Jaden, it is Punui-o-toka from South Hornby School here. We like the way that you added the picture with your writing. It helped along with the words to create the picture inside of our heads. We like how you added adjectives to add to detail. The story reminded us of the person on the five dollar note (Sir Edmond Hilary). We will thinking would you be able to breathe and talk at the top of Mt Everest?
Hi Jaden We are a class from South Hornby School. We loved your question at the start to focus our attention on your writing.
We learnt that the character is flexible, 9 years old, he has black hair, he is a risk taker, adventurous , positive and athletic. We learnt that the actions were stretching into the splits, climbing the mountain, reaching and holding onto the rope. The character felt scared, amazing, frozen and he felt alive.
Next time Jaden could tell us how the work came about and what the lesson was about.
Mālo Jaden What an entertaining piece of writing, with a photo that sets the scene so well. We talked about the times when you 'feel alive' when you do something. And how it is easier to go up than come down often. Thank you for such a thought provoking blog post. Sai' aupito! (That is very good in Tongan).
Hi Jaden, I really like the way you did not add any boring sentence and you added good sentence. Maybe next time you could of added more describing words. This reminds me of my little cousin making this type of writing.
Hi Jaden itś me Nathan you know me i like that you put a picture of a Mountain with snow and i like that you use a lot of exclamation mark and that all i have to say bye jaden
Hi Jaden i like how you did the ¨speech marks¨ and !exclamation marks! I like the picture. Do you like Snow? Do you like Mountains? I like you're Post because I love snow. I like how you did the I feel alive. Also I like all the information of the story Post.
hi Jaden its Dylan here i like the way you put description on how old you u r and what colour your hair is next time put more description it reminds me of when I did a story of the Mountains
sup Jaden, I really like the way you described yourself and when your on the mountain. next time could you put more writing so people to describe it in their head. I never been on a mountain but I have described one
Hi Jayden,
ReplyDeleteThis is Shadrach from Hornby Primary School I am in a year six class. I scrolled to ruru's blog post and I saw this one first. So I decided to comment on it because it reflect my eye with the picture.
I really like the picture of the mountain that you put in your writing and adding some interesting words. And I saw all those punctuation that you add.
I really like your telling sentence but in my school we are learning to put a telling sentence into descriptive. Because our can add lots of details on your writing. And also make sure to add your introduction about what you are learning in school and what you have been doing.
hi Jayden
ReplyDeleteI love the way you add all the information
maybe next time you could go into deeper description
this reminds me when I described the same image.
Hi Jayden
ReplyDeletei love the way you put a little detail for yourself
i also like that you had made frozen and when you were talking you put it in cap and added !
keep up the good work
Hi Jaden, it is Punui-o-toka from South Hornby School here. We like the way that you added the picture with your writing. It helped along with the words to create the picture inside of our heads. We like how you added adjectives to add to detail. The story reminded us of the person on the five dollar note (Sir Edmond Hilary). We will thinking would you be able to breathe and talk at the top of Mt Everest?
ReplyDeleteHi Jaden
ReplyDeleteWe are a class from South Hornby School. We loved your question at the start to focus our attention on your writing.
We learnt that the character is flexible, 9 years old, he has black hair, he is a risk taker, adventurous , positive and athletic. We learnt that the actions were stretching into the splits, climbing the mountain, reaching and holding onto the rope. The character felt scared, amazing, frozen and he felt alive.
Next time Jaden could tell us how the work came about and what the lesson was about.
Mālo Jaden
ReplyDeleteWhat an entertaining piece of writing, with a photo that sets the scene so well.
We talked about the times when you 'feel alive' when you do something. And how it is easier to go up than come down often. Thank you for such a thought provoking blog post.
Sai' aupito! (That is very good in Tongan).
Hi Jaden,
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you did not add any boring sentence and you added good sentence. Maybe next time you could of added more describing words. This reminds me of my little cousin making this type of writing.
Hi Jaden i like that writing
ReplyDeleteI like how you have got so many !!!!!!!!! next time dont do Bahhhh in white
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Jaden itś me Nathan you know me i like that you put a picture of a Mountain with snow and i like that you use a lot of exclamation mark and that all i have to say bye jaden
ReplyDeleteHi Jaden i like how you did the ¨speech marks¨ and !exclamation marks! I like the picture.
ReplyDeleteDo you like Snow?
Do you like Mountains?
I like you're Post because I love snow.
I like how you did the I feel alive.
Also I like all the information of the story Post.
hey jaden i like how you said how you climed mt Everest and how cold it was what you could do is tell more to the story like what happen next
ReplyDeletehi Jaden its Dylan here i like the way you put description on how old you u r and what colour your hair is next time put more description it reminds me of when I did a story of the Mountains
ReplyDeletesup Jaden, I really like the way you described yourself and when your on the mountain.
ReplyDeletenext time could you put more writing so people to describe it in their head.
I never been on a mountain but I have described one